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The 10 basic tips for identifying and dealing with toxic people

Ever wanted tricks to help in identifying and dealing with toxic people in your life? If yes, then here’s your handy guide.

We have all at one time associated with toxic people. They are tiresome to live around. Their demands may be way above what we can deliver. They call for pity parties and never-ending lamentations about everything in life.

Toxic people are always angry, stressed, frustrated and love to criticize others. They are always oblivion about their actions. Most of these people have deep wounds from their past. They could have been bullied, lacked parental love or suffered rejection.

How can you identify them around your circles? It could be a colleague who keeps gossiping or the relative who causes discord among family members. It could also be the friend who is always demanding for your attention, time or money and will not take no for an answer. They are too selfish to put the needs of others before their own.

How to identify and deal with toxic people

Some toxic people are unaware of how their behaviour impacts others. Others are glad to manipulate people to sympathies and pity them. They love having pity parties.  If you are not careful, a toxic person can cause you stress, strife and confusion. Prolonged exposure to such an environment may lead to a serious emotional imbalance. You may also go down to their level to please them and this may, in turn, affect your self-esteem.

It is important to understand that you will never be able to please them or meet all their demands. To avoid being a victim of their never-ending demands, accept that you are dealing with a toxic person. Below are some highlights on how they behave.

  1. Toxic people never accept ‘no’ for an answer. They believe that they can only have things their way. Taking a different stand from theirs is an offence.
  2. They expect you to ‘read their minds’. Every action you take or word you utter may be the beginning of another problem. They always have predetermined answers. They ask questions expecting certain answers.
  3. They demand unnecessary attention. Toxic people have a way of seeking attention from those close to them. This could lead you to lose your social life as they may demand for too much of your time. Be careful when you find yourself getting isolated from your circles as a result of having a toxic person in your life.
  4. They can manipulate you. They will always make you feel guilty about their sad moments. They can act and lie about a situation to make you ‘bend’ towards them. If you are not careful, you may also begin to doubt your own opinion.
  5. They act as the victims and are always blaming other people for their problems. They are very selfish and demand for quick answers to their questions. If you are not careful, you will always stand guilty for all their problems. They may also use emotional outbursts to win sympathy.
  6. They are always negative and are hard to please. Toxic people are inconsistent with how they derive their happiness. What makes them happy today may trigger anger tomorrow. They lack kindness and are never grateful for anything. They are never contented and they always have unending demands.
  7. They will always create a crisis but never offer a solution. They also have a tendency of creating a problem and waiting for you to solve it. If you fail to solve their problem it may worsen an existing bad situation.
  8. They are always judgmental. Toxic people are always too quick to blame people and situations for their woes. They are also good at justifying themselves.
  9. They love gossiping and spreading false information about other people. They enjoy tarnishing other people’s names.
  10. Their lives are full of drama and their moods are never predictable. Being around them is quite uncomfortable because of mood swings.

    toxic people can affect your life negatively

Being around toxic people is exhausting. They experience mood swings. One minute they will be fine and happy and the next minute, they will be sulky and jittery.

Dealing with toxic people feels like a nightmare. Their behaviour may affect you mentally. They are also delicate to handle and difficult to please. Avoid them for your own sanity. Where it is not possible to keep off from them, keep a mental check on yourself. You can also let them know how you feel about their behaviour. Meeting their every need may worsen the situation.

Protect yourself from toxic people by identifying them. Enhance your emotional intelligence skills as this will help you to identify them and counter their behaviour. Toxic people have a way of making you hate being around them. You also get exhausted when with them. Their behaviour may take a heavy toll on you. They have a lot of negative energy and this can become mentally drenching.

You can encourage them to go for counselling and mentor-ship classes. Let them know that they have a problem and they can get help, but only if they are willing. If they do not take action towards their healing, look for a way of sending them away from your life.

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