Power games to increase pleasure – that’s how BDSM works. The game of dominance and submission has arrived in the bedroom at least since the success of “50 Shades of Grey”. But what’s the best way to start? We show you eight popular toys to touch and try out.
Embracing new sexual adventures isn’t for everyone. But if you dare, you may discover a whole new side to yourself – and to your partner. This can bring new impetus to long-term relationships and promote a sense of one’s own sexuality. In the spirit of “nothing ventured, nothing gained”, we are therefore devoting ourselves to the topic of BDSM and showing you the basic rules and exciting toys there are.
What is BDSM?
BDSM comes from the English (“Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism”) and describes practices related to power games, dominance and submission, pleasure pain and bondage games. Handcuffs, ropes or whips can be used to torment the partner with relish. All of this only happens with mutual consent and can be interrupted or ended at any time. Only those who feel comfortable with it can let go and experience the role play intensively.
The Ground Rules
You want to know what BDSM sex feels like? You should know these basic rules beforehand.
- important terms like Sub, Top, Bottom or Dom you will come across more often. Sub or bottom is called the subject person. Top or Dom describes the one who is in control and acts as the dominant partner in the role play.
- That “safe word” is an important part of the power game. Both partners must know at all times that they can end the other’s action by saying the agreed “safe word”. Mutual trust is the be-all and end-all and the basis for everyone involved to be able to embark on the adventure without any worries.
- Anything that pleases is allowed. However, only in Mutual agreement. However, bondage games on the neck are not recommended. The risk of strangulation and cardiac arrest is too high.
- It is recommended to security always have scissors or a cutter nearby. In the event of an emergency, action can be taken quickly.
- If you’re just getting started with BDSM, talk to your partner about it beforehand no-gos such as Wishes. So you can approach harder games together from soft practices. For example, start by using a tie to bind and choose simple binding techniques so that the subject could free themselves for the time being.
Eight BDSM toys to try
You haven’t tried BDSM yet, but are curious about the techniques behind it? We show you eight popular gadgets that you can use to start your exciting adventure.
1. Handcuffs and ankle cuffs
BDSM is about controlling the other, for example by tying them up and thus dominating them. The tied person is inferior to the Dom because they can move less or hardly at all and surrender to the other person. Handcuffs and ankle cuffs are therefore a popular toy for controlling your partner and are ideal for getting started.
You can find a good one here Set for beginners.
2. Needle wheel
Do you want a thrill? You could blindfold the subordinate partner’s eyes. Then the needle wheel or nerve wheel is used. It stimulates the nerves when you run the tips of the wheel over the skin. It can cause pain depending on how hard the dome presses against the skin.
There is one here Brass needle wheel.
This bondage gadget is a harness worn around the chest. It is intended to make the partner more tangible and controllable, in that the harness assumes a holding and packing function. There are various straps and eyelets on the harness so that it can also be used to tie your partner to it.
There is a harness here for men and here for women.
4. Bondage tape
BDSM is about a perceived loss of control. The dominated partner wants to submit and the dominant part wants to take advantage of the control over his opponent. The powerlessness of the sub becomes all the more evident when there is no possibility of verbal communication. So bondage tapes are popular gadgets to tape the mouth shut. Of course you can also use the tape for tying up.
You can find a suitable one here bondage tape.
5. Cotton ropes
Cotton ropes are the classic among bondage toys. You can use them flexibly, whether for different knots or to attach to the bed. The rope should be flexible and elastic. You can decide individually how you tie up your partner. In this YouTube video there is exciting inspiration for bondage techniques.
Here there are elastic cotton ropes.
6. SM Candle
Even Leonardo DiCaprio’s character in “Wolf of Wall Street” appreciates a hot SM candle. As stock trader Jordan Belfort, he enjoys letting the hot wax drip onto his bare skin. That is exactly the appeal of the candle. You can use them to stimulate your partner and cause them slight pain. How much wax drips down determines the pain and is up to the Dom. It gets even more interesting when the partner has to wear a blindfold. Only use special low-temperature candles for this game, because they are made of pure paraffin and are less hot than conventional candles.
You can find a suitable one here low temperature candle.
7. Stroke feather
BDSM is about tormenting the other with pleasure. In this way, punishment and reward can alternate, so that the game has exciting ups and downs. After the hardness, a pleasant change in the form of a caressing feather comes into play. Only to then take dominant action again.
There is one here caress pen.
8. Flogger and whip
Speaking of rewards and punishments. A whip could follow the soft feather. It is used for punishment and makes the dominance of the cathedral visible. Floggers are also popular toys. They consist of multiple straps and can cause varying amounts of pain depending on how hard the dominant person hits them.
Here you can find one Flogger and whip set.
BDSM, is that for me?
Only you can answer whether you want to try BDSM. People who are open and curious can bring a new twist to their love life with exciting bondage games. The controlled power game is something for those who are not afraid of new experiences. Dominance and submission are at the core of sexual roleplay, so one of the two roles should appeal to you. It is important that you trust your opponent and that you can end the game at any time. Slowly approach BDSM and find out what you and your partner like. If you both enjoy it, it can be an exciting enrichment for your sex life and a change from everyday life.
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